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Don’t answer every question, instead ask what do they think.
Asking questions stimulates conversation between you and your
child.

2. Don’t Criticize.

Criticism invites low self-esteem. Children feel that they have
failed or disappointed their parents when they are criticized.
Find alternate ways of correcting the problem. A child will
likely shut down communication if they feel that their parents
are not supportive.

3. Respect Your Child’s Opinions.

Your child is not an extension of you. Although it is difficult
to accept at times, it is normal and healthy for your child to
have their own opinion. Children who are confident in expressing
their opinions are less likely to join gangs or succumb to peer
pressure.

4. Teach Your Child To Embrace Diversity.

Encourage your child to learn about different cultures and
ethnicities. A well informed child can will understand and
respect other people’s values.

5. Teach Your Child To Set Personal Boundaries.

Children need to have their personal space respected in order
for them to respect other people’s personal space. Help your
child to establish their boundaries and insist that he/she
enforce them with their peers.

6. Establish A Nurturing Environment.

Children thrive in environments in which they know they are
loved and respected. Remind them every day that you love them
and support them.

7. Understand Your Child’s Thinking Process.

In order for you to be an advocate for your child in school, you
must know and understand how your child learns. Is he/she
creative, logical, musical, spatial, interpersonal,
intrapersonal, naturalistic? Know your child’s capabilities and
accept their creativity.

8. Let Them Think For Themselves.

Encourage independent thinking. Let your child decide (within
reason) what is appropriate for them. Give them enough room to
make decisions, but also be there in case their plans don’t work
out.

9. Teach Them Stress Management Skills.

Help your child to effectively deal with stress. Try not to
contribute to their stress with demands and unrealistic
expectations. Make learning fun!

10. Teach Your Child To Trust His/Her Instincts.

In order for children to be successful in life, they must learn
how to trust their decisions. Your child needs to be confident
in trusting his/her instincts and feelings. Children who trust
themselves are less likely to participate in unhealthy behaviors

About the author:
Marie Magdala Roker is a Family Coach and Certified Breakthrough
Parenting Instructor. She is completing her Masters in Health
Education at Columbia University’s Teachers College. She helps
parents to reclaim their lives and students to unlock their
academic potential. She is committed to helping build healthy
families, one family member at a time.

Many parents today really try to be better parents than their
parents were. They attempt to be there for their children – to
listen to them, support them, spend time with them, as well as
hold and nurture them. Their children grow up feeling loved and
valued by these loving parents, yet often these same children
struggle as adults in many areas of their lives. I have numerous
clients who tell me that they had wonderful parents who truly
loved and nurtured them, yet these clients are struggling with
their work, their relationships, or their lives in general. Why
is this?

The common issue is that their parents did not role model for
them personal responsibility for their own feelings, needs, and
physical health. They did not teach them through their own
behavior how to take good care of themselves physically or
emotionally.

So, what are you teaching your children through your own
behavior? Do you role model following your passions, or do you
spend your spare time watching TV? Do you role model taking good
care of your health, or do you smoke cigarettes, eat badly and
get little exercise? Do you have a spiritual practice that is
meaningful to you and moves you into your heart, or do you stay
mostly in your head? Do you have a process for managing your
conflicts with others, or do you tend to withdraw, get angry,
resist or comply as a way to control or avoid conflict? Do your
children see you avoiding life’s difficulties with alcohol,
drugs, gambling, spending, TV or other addictive behavior, or
learning from life’s challenges? Are you boring because you just
try to be safe and maintain the status quo, or do you extend
yourself and take some risks that result in aliveness and
vitality?

A client of mine was recently struggling with the lack of
passion in her life. I asked her if her parents were passionate
about anything. “No,” she said. “The smoked constantly, drank
beer, and watched TV. They were nice to me, but they were both
sick a lot and both died at young ages. I never saw either of
them excited about anything.” This woman in her late forties had
no idea of how to discover her passions and her life felt dead
to her. Her husband had expressed a lack of interest in her
because he actually found her to be boring, and was no longer
sexually interested in her. This is what brought her to work
with me.

Let’s take the role modeling a little further. Are you honest,
or do you let your children think it’s okay to withhold the
truth or even lie outright. Do you role model integrity, or do
you behave in ways that you would not want announced in a
newspaper? Do you stand up for yourself, or do you let others
walk all over you? Do you tolerate abusive situations or do your
children see you take action in your own behalf?

It’s very important to realize that, while being there for your
children is vital, it is only half of good parenting. The other
half is being there for yourself with honesty, courage and
integrity. It’s not enough to treat your children with love. You
need to treat yourself with love as well if you want your
children to grow up knowing how to take loving care of
themselves.

If your parents did not role model treating themselves lovingly,
the chances are you don’t know how to do it for yourself.
Treating yourself lovingly is something that is a learned skill.
The six-step Inner Bonding process (see our FREE course at
www.innerbonding.com) was developed specifically for this
purpose. The best thing you can do for yourself and your
children is learn these six powerful steps and practice them on
a daily basis. Your children will naturally learn how to take
responsibility for themselves – for their health and emotional
well-being – as you learn to do this for yourself. Give yourself
and your children the gift of the joy that comes from truly
loving yourself!

About the author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of
eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You?”, “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?”,
“Healing Your Aloneness”,”Inner Bonding”, and “Do I Have To Give
Up Me To Be Loved By God?” Visit her web site for a FREE Inner
Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com